Enzo and Big Cass Interviews Total Drama
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Everyone's favorite certified G and Big Cass himself from NXT interviews and chats with your favorite contestants from all three generations of Total Drama there ever is, including the characters from the Ridonculous Race! Get ready for laughs, tears and a whole lot of bada boom from the realest guys in the room! It's about to be SAWFT! First up, Alejandro.


**"Enzo and Big Cass Interviews Total Drama!"**

 **Rated T for a bit of language**

 **Summary: Everyone's favorite certified G and Big Cass himself from NXT interviews your favorite contestants from all three generations of Total Drama there ever is, including the characters from the Ridonculous Race! Get ready for laughs, tears and a whole lot of bada boom from the realest guys in the room! It's about to be SAWFT!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with WWE, NXT, it's wrestlers, Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race, or any of its characters. WWE, NXT and it's wrestlers are owned by it's chairman, Vince McMahon and Total Drama, The Ridonculous Race, and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, enjoy!**

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 **Chapter 1: Introduction/Alejandro**

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There was a studio full of people who were standing behind in darkness as the camera aimed at two men. One had freaky spiky hair and dressed in white/cheetah stripes and the other was seven foot tall with black trunks that had the words "Big Cass" labeled on the front. The set nearly looked very identical to the show Inside The Actor's Studio, to be honest.

So while their theme song played, the ringleader of the trio (Enzo Amore) sat down and spoke to the studio audience.

"My name is Enzo Amore, and I am a certified G and a bonafide stud, and ya can't... teach... that!" Enzo said.

And then, he looked to his partner-in-crime, Colin Cassady. Also known as 'Big Cass'."

"And this right here?" He said, pointing to Cass. "This is Big Cass, and he's seven foot tall, and ya can't... teach... that!"

After introducing his partner, he looked to the rest of the audience with a smirk.

"Bada boom, realest guys in the room! HOW YOU DOIN'?" Enzo shouted.

The rest of the audience all cheered for the two guys, who were obviously hosting this little show that was taking place. After a few minutes of applause, Enzo finally spoke once again.

"Why are we doin' here, you ask?" Enzo raised his eyebrow. "Well, this is gonna be an interview show, what else? Yeah, hence the name 'Enzo and Big Cass Interviews...' where we talk to the guests from TV, Cartoons, Movies, Video Games..."

"That's right, and no stupid pet tricks too." Big Cass replied. "We see one pet trick, Enzo loses it."

"Got that right, Big Cass!" Enzo replied as well. "So far, our guests for tonight is somethin' very special. Because they're from that interesting cartoon/reality show from the state that plays hockey and eats pancakes!"

"I'm certain it's a country, Enzo." Big Cass told him.

"I know what I said, Cass!" Enzo nodded. "Anyway, this show is called Total Drama which is a big cult hit on Cartoon Network, and they came up with sequels more confusin' than frickin Fast and Furious! How many sequels does that movie has, Big Cass? Frickin' 16?"

"I don't know man, I lost frickin' count." Big Cass shrugged, feeling unsure.

"Eh, me too." Enzo shrugged as well. "Anyway, I'm supposed to bring out the first guest. He's not actually a Spanish thug lookin' for some tequila, he's actually the winner of some World Tour season in the state I forgot to mention earlier. Let's bring out Ally Jandro."

Out of the studio came the Latin rodrigo and the winner of Total Drama World Tour, Alejandro. He was greeted by the rest of his fangirls with cheers, and strangely enough, boos coming from the rest of his Total Drama castmates who were sitting from the audience as well (except for Heather). He managed to sit right next to Enzo.

"Welcome to the hell-hole we call a show, _Ally_." Enzo smirked.

"Actually, the name is _Alejandro_ , por favor." Alejandro corrected him.

"Yeah, like I actually give a damn." Enzo smirked. "So I got some questions I like to ask you, and I'll ask them pretty SAWFT."

"Well, go ahead and fire them away." Alejandro smiled.

"Okay, the first question I wanna ask you is..."

 _ **Where were you born?**_

"Ah, wise question." Al smirked. "I was actually born and raised by the finest diplomats in Pamplona, Spain. I was born actually beautiful. I was blessed with looks way better than my brother, which I will never name here on this show by the way."

"I don't know, I think he's a nice guy." Big Cass shrugged. "I talked to him recently, gave me two tickets to go see the Nets play."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Alejandro shouted after hearing of this news. "HE SHOULD'VE GAVE ME THE EXTRA TICKET! THAT STUPID LITTLE BIT-"

"Hey hey, take it easy!" Enzo said, cutting off Alejandro. "You know we don't allow cussing on this show! Only me and Big Cass do that! Anyway, next question..."

 ** _Why did you kiss Bridgette on Total Drama World Tour when she already has a frickin' boyfriend?_**

"Well, isn't it obvious? It was all part of the game." Alejandro smirked. "It's not my fault if Bridgette finds me a way attractive kisser than her retarded hubby."

"HEY, YOU TAKE THAT FRICKIN' BACK!" Geoff shouted.

Somehow, the party boy grew furiously angry and lunged out of his audience chair, trying to go after Alejandro. Unfortunately for the party boy, he was held back by Justin, Brick and Trent, which prevented him from getting his hands on the Latin manipulator.

"Oooh, I'm scared." Alejandro said, teasing him. "What are you gonna do? Hit me with your horrible surfer lingo?"

"YOU'RE LUCKY I'M FAR AWAY FROM YOU!" Geoff screamed. "OTHERWISE, I WOULD'VE DROPPED YOUR ASS FASTER THAN I'D START RUNNING AFTER YOU!"

"Easy, guys, easy!" Enzo said, quickly restoring tension between Al and Geoff. "We don't fight in this little interview show except for Big Cass! He does all the fighting, 'K?"

After a scary staredown between the two contestants, everything restored to normalcy as Enzo moved on to the next question.

"Okay, soulpatch, here's the next question..."

 ** _Why do you frickin' like Heather?_**

"For all the right reasons, Enzo." Al chuckled. "Heather is the most beautiful, yet most evil flower I've ever gazed upon. Outside, she hated me, but on the inside, I knew she wanted me bad. Ain't that right, mi amor?"

"You got that right, my evil honey-bunny!" Heather winked before blowing a kiss at him.

As Alejandro blew a kiss at her back, all of the contestants reacted in total disgust, mostly the male model known as Justin.

"Oh, please..." Justin rolled his eyes.

"Is that supposed to mean something, hombre?" Alejandro raised his eyebrow.

"I'm not gonna lie because I'm waaaaay more handsome than you'll ever be, but yeah." Justin nodded. "You're willing to manipulate any woman you can so you get what you really want. Face it, you're nothing but a lying heartbreaker at best. It's what your reputation is, my friend."

"Awww, you're so thoughtful." Alejandro smirked sarcastically. "Such words coming from a cowardly primadonna like yourself, who only whines like a little baby whenever he gets a widdle-biddy paper cut! No wonder my Heather never found you attractive and hot. Because as far as I'm concerned, you're just as ugly as Ronda Rousey's bruised-up face."

With those words, Justin stood out of his chair, taking it as a threat.

"Hey, I might have NEVER liked Heather, but at least she'd deserve someone way better than you ever will be!" Justin scoffed. "And let me tell you something! You really wanna know what ugly is? Call me that again, and Geoff won't be the only problem you'll have to deal with, _Alan!_ "

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME BY THAT NAME!" Alejandro shouted.

"You have a problem with that?" Justin smirked. "Let's do this!"

"Gladly!" Alejandro nodded. "I hope you like your face rearranged again!"

Just like that, the two pretty boys started to approach one another, hoping to throwdown in front of a live audience.

But before either man can throw a punch, Big Cass stepped in just in time and broke the whole thing over between the two.

"Hey, break it up, ya jalopys!" Big Cass said to Justin and Al. "I don't want to stuff my foot in someone's calzone, even though I might have to in a minute!"

Realizing this wasn't worth fighting about, both Justin and Al separated from each other for now, sharing one scary glare at each other for good measure.

After the two took their seats, Enzo finally got the show running back on.

"Okay, where were we?" Enzo raised his eyebrow. "Oh yeah, I was just getting back to the interview with _Ponch_ here."

"Actually, my name is still _Alejandro_." Al reminded him.

"Does it care if I call you _Ally_ again? Then no, it doesn't." Enzo replied. "Anyway, the last question is-"

"Excuse me, I forgot to say something else to our guest.!" Justin said, raising his hand.

Groaning with misery, Enzo looked over to the Hawaiian sitting in the audience.

"Hey pretty boy, can it wait?" Enzo said to Justin. "I'm trying to talk to _Jalapeno_ for a sec."

"It'll take a sec." Justin said to Enzo before turning to Al. "Hey Alejandro, I did forget to tell ya: When you were kissing Heather, you were also kissing her cat's ass on her lips. Just figured I'd let you know."

Somehow realizing this, Alejandro ended up puckering his lips in total disgust.

Hacking and coughing, Alejandro started running off-screen to the bathroom, mostly to vomit and gag after hearing what Justin said to him. Enzo looked at the scene a little disturbed and creeped out.

"Oh, man... that Ally dude is puking up some nasty Veal Scallopini!" Enzo gulped.

"It's... it's actually lasagna, you stupid chihuahua!" Alejandro cried out. "I'm getting all of you back, I swear! Buuuuuuuagh!"

After hearing him vomit off-screen again, Enzo felt like now was the right time for a commercial.

"Anyway, while _Jalapeno_ , I think that's his name, keeps puking up a storm, I think it's about time we take a commercial break." Enzo nodded. "We're gonna come right back with that annoying whiny little headache with a beauty mark right here on 'Enzo and Big Cass Interview Total Drama'! And ya can't... teach... that!"

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 **Yeah, I usually thought it was original for me to do this! I mean, NXT's realest guys in the room interviewing contestants from Total Drama? That oughta be an awesome idea for sure! Of course, I'll be doing each contestant alphabetically starting with A for Alejandro and ending with Z for Zoey. You're gonna experience a lot of laughs, tears (possibly from laughter) and a whole lot of SAWFT-ness to go around.**

 **Anyway, we got Amy coming up next, so feedbacks are appreciated! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off for now. And ya CAN'T... TEACH... THAT!**


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